After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
