Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Congratulations! We have a period
How naked do you want me to be?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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