just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
