OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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