Non-Jews are for practice
there's paper in my vomit.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
