i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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