it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
