Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
