we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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