I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You just made me feel so damn special
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
