I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize