he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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