I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
