$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I could make wine with my vomit
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
