Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
