They should really pass out barf bags in church
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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