Fuck appropriateness.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
