So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize