I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
