fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
