i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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