Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
