I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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