just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
