I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That accounts for only three of the penises
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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