So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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