There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
