we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
