i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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