I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
