Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
