Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize