A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize