yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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