Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
YAS. BRING CRAB.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
