3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
