God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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