Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
