I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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