This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
