she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
