I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
