I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
