I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
