margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
