I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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