he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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