Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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