You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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