I need help removing her.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
