how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
