Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
