I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
