So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
