My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
