I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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