so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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